6 Signs Your Relationship with Exercise Might Be Unhealthy — and How to Heal It
When Movement Stops Feeling Good: Rethinking Your Relationship with Exercise
With the excitement of the New York City Marathon this past weekend, you might find yourself reflecting on your own relationship with movement. Maybe you feel inspired to set new goals, build a consistent routine, or push yourself to new limits. At first, that motivation can feel energizing — even empowering. You feel proud of your discipline, and it’s validating when others notice your dedication or call you “so good” about working out.
But in a culture that often equates fitness with worthiness, it’s easy for movement to shift from something supportive to something stressful — when what once felt like self-care starts to feel like an obligation.
So how can you tell if your relationship with exercise has crossed into disordered territory?
Here are six signs it may be time to take a closer look:
You have a narrow definition of exercise.
If a workout doesn’t burn a certain number of calories, leave you drenched in sweat, or change your body’s shape, you dismiss it as “not real exercise.”Missing a workout causes anxiety.
When plans change, you panic about when you’ll fit in your workout. Vacations or social events start to feel like interruptions instead of moments to enjoy.Your routine is rigid.
Even when you’re tired, sore, or simply not in the mood, you feel obligated to hit a certain number of minutes, miles, or calories burned.You feel guilt or irritability if you miss a session.
A missed workout leaves you uneasy or frustrated, as if you’ve failed at something important. Exercise starts to feel like a rule you have to follow rather than a choice you get to make.Food and exercise are tightly linked.
What you eat depends on whether you’ve worked out or how hard you’ve pushed yourself. Or you might see exercise as a way to “make up for” what you’ve eaten.You push through pain or exhaustion.
Even when your body asks for rest, you struggle to listen. The thought of taking a break feels uncomfortable or even threatening.
If any of this resonates, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with knowing how to relate to movement in a culture that often praises extremes.
Healing your relationship with exercise begins with curiosity and compassion. Start by asking yourself:
What am I hoping to get out of this movement?
If this activity didn’t change my body, would I still choose it?
Then, experiment with movement that feels genuinely good. Maybe that’s stretching, dancing, hiking, or simply walking your dog. If you hate running — you don’t have to run! When your relationship with exercise becomes more flexible, it means that you have a choice. Let movement become a way of connecting with your body, not controlling it.
And just as importantly: practice resting. Rest is not a sign of weakness — it’s a necessary part of balance. Learning to sit with stillness or to skip a workout without guilt can be one of the bravest acts of healing.
If changing your relationship with exercise or your body feels overwhelming, that’s okay. You don’t have to navigate this alone. Working with a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and body image can help you build a more peaceful, flexible, and compassionate relationship with movement — and with yourself.
You’ve already shown so much strength and dedication. Now, imagine channeling that energy into healing. Support is here when you’re ready to take that next step.
Ready to start the conversation around your relationship with exercise?
I support teens and adults in shifting behaviors that are no longer serving them.
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