Why Can ED Recovery Feel So Bad?
If you are in the middle of eating disorder recovery, or even considering it, you deserve a ton of credit. Eating disorder recovery is hard. Probably one of the hardest things that you will do. So, first, I want to acknowledge that.
When you picture recovery, what does it look like? Eating at a restaurant with friends? Trying that viral dessert? Having the space to think about literally anything besides food?
All fun things. So, why can eating disorder recovery feel so bad?
Just one of the reasons: Exposure to fears
Here’s a quick lesson on how fear works: When we perceive a threat our brain has to figure out how to protect us. What’s one of the ways we protect ourselves? Avoid!
For a variety of reasons during an eating disorder, food can become the threat. So, what might you start to do? Avoid. Avoid certain foods, avoid grocery shopping, avoid restaurants, you name it. But here’s where things get harder. Every time we avoid something; our brain relearns that this thing is a threat. Running away from a tiger? Good idea. Never going to a restaurant? Might cause some issues.
How does this change in recovery? We stop avoiding! I’ll be honest, this will be hard in the beginning. It may have been quite some time that brain has perceived food as a threat. So, it may take some time to have a different experience.
But it gets easier. I promise. Every single time you do the thing that scares you, your brain learns that you don’t have to be afraid. And if you keep doing it, it becomes the new normal.
Below are a few tips to get you through exposures:
You don’t have to do them alone. Eating disorders can often go hand in hand with isolation. Exposures are the perfect time to enlist friends, partners, family members, whoever, to support you and normalize what you’re doing!
Think about a positive memory associated with this food. Was this food ever part of a celebration, a fun day, or maybe even just one of your favorites? Recall a time when this food was nothing more than something to be enjoyed. Don’t have a positive memory? You’re setting yourself up to build new positive memories with those you love.
Distraction. You will likely be uncomfortable after completing an exposure. First, this is normal! It does not mean you did something bad or wrong. The feeling is temporary and will decrease. Watch a movie, talk to a friend, knit, whatever you need to do to get through the moment.
Talk with a professional. Like I said, recovery is hard. You may have every intention of challenging yourself, but when it comes time to do it, something gets in the way. This is also normal and why people seek professional support. Sometimes we just need that extra nudge and support to get through it.
If you or someone in your life is looking for support in eating disorder recovery, do not hesitate to reach out. Get in touch with Lauren here.
